I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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