To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
