this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
