Your tits are I can't wait for
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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