I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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