They should really pass out barf bags in church
this boner is exhausting
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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