I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
