so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
