I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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