The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
