You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I know her cup size but not her name....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
