I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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