best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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