I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
