I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
