He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
