Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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