ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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