nut hugger
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
