You smell like a Billy Joel song
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your penis caused this!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
