I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just want nice things and good sex
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
