Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
