i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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