dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
