did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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