just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
