It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
