I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
