His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
