He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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