I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
