carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
