I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
