You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
even my farts smell like vagina
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
