Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
