your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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