Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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