I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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