No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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