He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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