I cannot find my penis.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
