Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
