please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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