So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
