I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
