Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
