I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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