Can i not drive my cunt home
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
