I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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