Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
