You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
